Charlie Taylor for Charlie’s Toolbox Podcast
Whenever I heard the word discipline, my stomach would knot up. I’d either associate the word with punishment. Or I’d think about something I didn’t want to do and sigh. To me, discipline was a cage, but as I got older and wiser, I realized that discipline is freeing. It is the trait of winners.
For the longest, I could do just enough, and I would be rewarded. I had that silly gifted syndrome where I thought things should come naturally to me and I would be rewarded for it, and then I grew up. What made me grow up was seeing how much my lack of discipline gave me things I did not want. What was eye-opening was realizing that B- effort had B- results. B- effort resulted in jobs I didn’t want. B- efforts resulted in me being the assistant and not the director. B- effort resulted in a body I was uncomfortable with, and so on and so on.
But being fed up was not enough; if it were enough, everyone would be exactly the person they wanted to be. The required part of the equation, which many believe they can bypass or half-ass, is discipline.
Discipline is mental wealth. It is a currency that you must spend to be the vision you have in your mind. For example, if you give yourself Sleep, diet, exercise, stress management, and supplements like Magic Mind with lion’s mane, you have more currency to spend on discipline. However, if you give yourself drugs, alcohol, stress, lack of sleep, bitterness, anger, and self-sabotage, you take away the currency required to develop discipline and try to achieve things on fumes.
No matter how clever, talented, or well-supported you are, you won't get the ending you want if you don’t do the work.
There is a clip going around with Venus Williams, where she states, “Discipline is freedom. She says when you have discipline, you get what you want. When you don’t have discipline, you do not get any of what you want. When you have discipline, you are free to live your dreams. You are free to do the things you love.”
And when you hear it like that, it changes how you see discipline because when you don’t work, you are forced to live with plan c, and who is happy with plan c when you really want plan A?
Furthermore, consider how much work and effort you must put into live plan C vs plan A. When living plan c, you must pretend you like this life even though you know you don’t. You must work for something you don’t like or want. You must pretend that things are ok when they aren’t. You must try at something you don’t care about. You must exert effort towards a life that doesn’t fulfill you.
But if you think about the effort required to be disciplined and live your to get Plan A, you will see that it is far less work than living Plan C. Plan A requires a vision and discipline. That’s it. Plan C requires secretly living in misery, doing things you don’t want, and pretending to be happy about it. And when you genuinely think about it, which one requires more effort?
So, how do you develop discipline? Or devotion and freedom, as I like to frame it? You give yourself a chance, you create a system, and you take your time.
To develop devotion, which sounds so loving, you must give yourself a chance. It’s sort of like dating; the person who thinks they have a chance usually pursues you and stops you to talk and get your number. However, the one who thinks they don’t have a chance with you typically doesn’t approach you because they psyched themselves out, and now they are always left wondering.
This same thought can be applied to you and discipline. If you don’t think you have a chance to develop this skill, you won’t try, and you will psyche yourself out. You will think about all the ways you suck and your childhood, and then you will hate the goal because you’ve convinced yourself that you aren’t worthy of it. So, instead of doing that, give yourself a chance and go for it.
Now, I get that discipline is easier said than done. So, giving yourself a chance requires creating a system. But if you truly think about it, You already have a system in place that has given you this life. Now, it is time to use that same muscle to give you the life you want.
I personally have ADHD, and I suffer from executive dysfunction and inattention, meaning if I find it unpleasant or not stimulating, I will get distracted, procrastinate, and stall until a consequence. So, you can imagine how difficult it is to develop discipline and do what is required to get what I want, but it isn’t as difficult when I have a plan.
The first part of my system is my health and energy. I usually won't do it if I don’t physically feel energized. So, I try to sleep and eat whole foods as much as possible to give me the physical energy I need for discipline.
Sometimes, getting to sleep is hard, so I occasionally use Magic Minds sleep shots to get my 8+ hours. Or I take supplements with Lion’s Mane, like Magic Minds mental performance shots. The food and sleep give me energy, and magic mind performance shots with a lion’s mane help me execute. When I use these products, I feel clear and like a well-oiled machine. I also enjoy that I don’t have to use caffeine because I already feel energized in the morning.
The second part of my plan is to know myself. I know my distractions. I know when I work best. I know what triggers my anxieties. So, I plan around that. For example, if I think about working out throughout the day, I won’t do it. So, I work out at 6 am because it doesn’t allow me to think about whether I want to. I also know that if I am focusing on something throughout the day and I cut into it by working out, it will be hard for me to get back on tasks.
So, here are some quick questions to help you get to know yourself so that you can make a plan specific to you.
What situations or thoughts tend to overwhelm or distract me the most? You can identify these things and break them down into manageable tasks. For example, public speaking can overwhelm me. So, when I know I must lead a team meeting. I plan ahead. I break down my topics and then practice on my computer to see how I come off. This gives me confidence in the tasks.
What self-care strategies help calm me down when I’m feeling emotional? People tend to use feelings to trick them into doing what is necessary. If you know feelings move you, then you need to have strategies to work through them so that you can do what you planned to do.
What types of tasks or responsibilities do I often procrastinate on? Maybe you can do these things when you have the most energy. Maybe you can use a timer to do 5 minutes a day to chip away at it.
How often do I underestimate how long tasks will take? When you don’t make a deadline, people tend to give up on the goal. Or punish themselves. Instead of putting yourself in the cycle of criticism, give yourself more room and time to do these tasks.
If you want more questions to help you understand yourself. I will post them on my website charliestoolbox.com, under this episode’s show notes.
The final step is to take your time. Serena and Venus did not become them in one year. They played tennis since they were 4, trained, went to camps, entered competitions, and worked hard every day to become the names we know now. So, it will take time for you to be who you want to be. Developing the discipline, skills, and networks you were never raised under will take time.
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