A while back Twitter user @elcavaqueen coined the term" dummy bitch". It was sharp and to the point and described the behavior of a girl who was devoid of thinking when it came to men. She looked back at some of the desperate shit she did for a man and cringed. She repeated stories where she was desperate and learned nothing but her heart was too big. She left every situation with an egg on her face and still hasn't learned to stop overextending herself for men. Dummy bitches don't learn, they keep telling themselves that good girls and girls who show how much they love men win. Then after every prospect, relationship, or talking stage, they are left subtracted from because they gave to people who are taught to never be full.
The dummy bitch shows up later in life sour, hating on the young girls with bright lights who learned early not to care what men think.
A lot of girls are/were dummy bitches. They took their foremothers' survival techniques in a more violent form of patriarchy and thought that is how a partnership is supposed to look. They didn't know their mothers gave to men so they could be financially stable, respected in society, and semi-protected from violence. They interpreted that work as an ideal situation and believed that giving all of yourself to a man is love.
The dummy bitch is a brainwashed bitch. She is a bitch who was taught since birth, in every form of media, by her community, and in her faith, that romantic love is the peak of her existence. They didn't tell her about the violence of the prize she desired. They didn't tell her about the exploitation embedded in romantic love. They just taught her that love is the prize and her genitals are her bargaining ship.
Some dummy bitches wave their flag high. They are often Christian, team-married, love is love, and "y'all shouldn't ask your man for things because they are not your dad" type of girls. They think every opportunity and opening is their opening and my GOD are they loudly desperate. They will tell you everything they should do for a man or to keep a man and have no man. Dummy bitches are a product of their society. They are annoying, but given the right information and application, they are redeemable. Some things that helped dummy bitches wake up out of their stupor are the following information:
· When you enter into a heterosexual marriage, the life of your partner is extended while yours is shortened.
· Men make more to your dollar.
· Men will lie to get the most out of the situation. They will lie to get the best benefits.
· If you give, they will take. They will take it to see what is your limit.
· It's cliche, but men love to chase. They love no's despite their protest. They are intrigued by no's.
· Just because you followed some moral rules, does not mean you will be rewarded for your effort.
· Bitches always win. Saying no only ensures you get what you want or causes people to elevate their behavior. Bitches say no a lot and because of that get exactly what they want or better.
These rules are the start of unlearning dummy bitch behavior. Follow other like-minded girls who fundamentally understand this and I am sure you will get there.
Editor’s note:
I will get a lot of protest from the language in this article. Sexist language may be the critique, but note the language is a stylistic choice and brash purposely. Sometimes you need brashness to kick you out of your trance. Sometimes you need brashness to elevate your boundaries. Sometimes you need brashness to ensure your actions match your verbal standards.
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